well, I must be the figment of your imagination, since no one else responds to me. I appreciate that you're conjuring me up. Don't stop, I'm enjoying myself (although I would rather like to be less invisible to others). so I guess that explains how you knew I'd been sucked into an intergalactic war and made to repair ships the size of supernovas while wearing pigtails and whistling "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (I can say that backwards, can you?). It must just all be in your head. that makes me feel better. you wrote me at FIVE FIFTY ONE in the morning. where are you, the military? those are the only people I know to rise so early. The only time I'm conscious at five in the morning is if I've stayed up to that point. I haven't risen that early in a long while. I can't imagine writing an email. You're up before the sun. you didn't ask me but I'll tell you what I am anyway. I have been called a hopeless romantic idealist. I've also been called a tomboy. I: got my hair cut today; am sitting next to three sunflowers; am dreaming of summer; should be sleeping; love feeling my body move; laugh with my head thrown back; love bright colour; read incessantly; have a brother and sister who are twins and three years old. who a person aims to be. I agree. Who do I aim to be? only myself. Who would I like myself to be? impossibly ambitious. highly creative. motivated. interesting - a special kind of interesting. Not "Oh, she's interesting." but "OH. she is INTERESTING." I had a teacher once who was interesting. He'd done so much and his life had been so full. I want to experience life. at every second (so why am I sitting here?). I want to work at sea. I am trying to find a camp to work at this summer where I can spend life outside on the water. I was a fish in another life, I'm sure of it. what a person loves. sometimes when asked "what do you love?" I like to answer things like summer, coffee, music, art (art has moved me more lately than ever. I don't know why this is), flowers, colour, books, dancing, rain, sun, the ocean. but *love*. I love the written word. I love to write. I love to dream. in any sense of that word. I love possibility. I love satisfaction. I love food. I love adventure, in any form. driving, music, singing, air in my face, and free weekends. tendonitis in my shoulder is making this painful. I am off. arise rusty icy venus. deep sea diving, * jess